29 things I've learned at 29
You're allowed a private life, and don't need to share parts of you online in the name of being 'authentic'...
I originally wrote this ahead of our stay in the cutest little tiny house in Lyme Regis. I was going to post it while we were there at the start of March but I ignored my phone for the whole weekend and have just re-discovered it. Re-reading it gave me the same little buzz I get when I find one of my only two pairs of earrings where I thought I left them.
The stay was beautiful, we were plonked in the middle of a field and it made me realise it’s important to be surrounded by nature as much as I can, while still having a really great toilet because, well.
Moving through life in the tiny house was such a pleasure. The fact we didn’t take very much ‘stuff’ felt freeing. The rhythm of getting home after a big walk, Dale chopping wood, me telling him to be careful and then getting warm by the fire felt incredible on a soul and cellular level. Maybe it’s the human/fire thing? I don’t know. But I didn’t want to come home so soon. I’ll add some pictures at the end if you’d love to see it.
Here are a few things I’ve learnt over the past twenty-nine years.
You’re allowed to keep secrets and have a private life: You don’t have to tell the internet you came on your period a day early and ruined your favourite underwear in the name of ‘keeping it real’, unless you actually want to.
You will never stop ruining your underwear on your period: Maybe just buy black?
You’ll find new friends: Having a girl-friend leave you hurts more than a husband, but you’ll get over it after accidently pocket dialling them for a year.
Buy sourdough: Don’t tell me about your starter, I’m still heartbroken I waited three days for a loaf of bread that never actualised.
Chin hairs are a thing now: They provide entertainment so embrace it.
This is your body, don’t fight it: There’s been no mistake. You’ll not wake up with less shit hair and longer legs. This is it. Let it carry you through life and decay as intended.
You can’t consume your way to self acceptance or your ‘true self’: If you try, you’ll end up paying off consumer debt just like me.
On that, you can’t buy authenticity - it feels like the new ‘thing’ we’re all searching for. I wonder if we missed the point when we started pinning to ‘authentic self’ boards and have found another way to obsess about ourselves.
Self-care is only the beginning: It’s designed to make us able to do things that impact more than just the self - more than just us.
Buy the best butter you can afford and savour it: Salty goodness is the only explanation I can muster.
We’re not separate from nature: The thought we are has us putting walls up around nature, instead of immersing ourself in it by rewilding our gardens, towns and cities. You were born to be enveloped by this mother - she birthed you from her soil, too.
When I say yes to something, I’m saying no to something else: This could be why it takes me so long to choose my pastry at the bakery.
The urge to grow a garden lies dormant within us all: Start with anything you have, put your gloveless fingers in the soil, have a tea on the go and all times and watch the steam dance in the cold morning air.
If you keep a paper diary people can’t stick themselves in it: Sorry I’d love to but it says here British Summer Time ends. No sorry, that’s the Battle of the Boyne. Got to love British diaries. I still don’t do this, but I want to.
You literally don’t need that thing: Wait 48 hours before you buy it. Maybe get some fresh air or put your phone in a box. I leave mine in a giant shell in the evening.
A good desk chair is crucial: God my back hurts.
The skin-care industry doesn’t care about your skin: Products are made to function the way your skin already does, without skin care products. My skin has never been happier left well alone. Let’s just say it found me overbaring.
You absolutely don’t need to pack that much: Probably take it anyway.
98% of people don’t look like the people you follow online: I read something the other say that said, you’re not ugly, you’re just broke. I felt that.
No spend days are really effective: If you want to save money, or pay down debt give it a go - unsubscribe from emails too if you can be bothered. Don’t let Zara send you a friendly reminder you left something in their cart. They are not your friend.
Most things aren’t that serious: Apart from things that are. But I mean you broke a glass, fucked up at work or farted in front of your early-days partner. Claim it as yours and laugh at yourself.
When you slip on a banana, make it your laugh: This one’s from Nora Ephron but it applies. The embarrassing ground swallow me up moments? Tell the hilarious story you would to your closest friends over dinner in your head. Make it your laugh, maybe tell it over dinner.
Your parents are humans with their own lives: I’m not sure how to elaborate on this apart from saying, realising my Dad was a child once, helped soothe something. It doesn’t everyone, but these are only my lessons.
Don’t bother making your own croissants: Save that drama, delight in them from the place you know bakes them perfectly.
Lifestyle creep is real & encouraged: Attempting to get off the hamster wheel of earning more, so having more, so we need to continue earning more to keep up the lifestyle, is something I really want to keep in mind going forward.
There are no guilty pleasures when it comes to food: Nigella taught me this and I’ll be forever grateful. What we eat or don’t eat depends on so many factors and none of it requires guilt, just our gratitude.
Don’t look at your face so much: Seriously just don’t. No one get’s as close as you do in the mirror apart from your cat and I know they at least tolerate you.
Love, Love, Love: Just so much. Who ever you love, really love them. I really love my humans and occasionally it can feel like I’m living mid open heart surgery but that’s how I like it.
You’re not behind: The pushed idea that as humans we should be trying to get in front of each other like a Black Friday rush to a flat screen TV is flawed. Imagine if you never had to get ahead of anyone, then you couldn’t be behind. We can’t really believe one without the other, so let’s forget both. (I would say this as at 4ft 11, I’m often behind).
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned in your life? Let’s talk in the comments :)
Kirstie this was so accurate, taking barely anything on holiday really is so beautiful and freeing. We literally need NOTHING. I hope you’re well! Chloe xxx
Thank you so much for reading. Totally, I always arrive thinking I could have brought even less - it’s a new game for me. Lots of love xxx