We all need someone to forgive us for living as mortals.

Finally he called to me and from his mouth I realised I had a beautiful name.

Img source, pinterest

He looked different under the Autumn light although perhaps unsurprisingly as we hadn’t been in each other’s company since spring. The summer had no doubt been kind to him, sharpened his features and blessed his face with a golden hue. So absorbed was I, sculptor studying model, that I hadn’t noticed his studying me. He smiled, the suns rays bleeding from the corners of his bright eyes. I had no plans to welcome Icarus’ fate, but holding his gaze seemed the less cowardly thing to do and as far as I knew, had never burned anyone alive.

Had the summer been kind to me? His presence made me reflect that I felt no different, although perhaps more well read and a little less timid. This morning my reflection didn’t blind as his did me. Skin still milky. Features still familiar. I began to feel heat rise towards my cheeks and broke his gaze, joining in a bit too enthusiastically with our friend’s conversation. He too turned away and it felt as though someone had let the fire go out. I longed for someone to stoke it on my behalf so I could remain at a safe distance.

It was wonderful to be together again. The seven of us had spent the entirety of the last three years side by side in the classroom, library and local cafes and the future we’d been working for was no longer coming but standing on the doorstep.

We had always been close. He had felt remedial to my occasional social inadequacy and it took no effort to feel fondness towards someone with such good character as he had. All the times we’d read side by side I’d never noticed how perfectly his eyebrows framed his face. How his eyelashes dusted the top of his cheeks when he closed his eyes for a little too long. I should have liked to have been blessed with those.

Food began to surround us, small rectangles of spongy sourdough to be devoured and I felt grateful to have something to occupy my hands and curiosities.

Finally he called to me and from his mouth I realised I had a beautiful name. He asked how my summer had been as he served himself another slice of bread with ample butter for which he didn’t use the butter knife for, but I didn’t mind. I only wondered why I’d spent many a tea time worrying about cutlery but I wasn’t about to turn into a complete animal. I supposed we all need someone to be that someone who forgives us for living as mortals. Our own God on earth. I wondered in between the lack of table manners and tea if he could be mine. I surely had my own quirks he might one day forgive me for. I didn't like it when people sat on the bed with their outside clothes on and was often terrible at getting up in the morning. I imagine I would wake up with ease when more light entered my life.

I hoped to keep some cards at my chest but my face smiled without permission and I chose not to scorn it. He was the sun and I a Peppered Moth. I told him my summer was adequate, but I had a feeling autumn was going to be far more preferable. I could have sworn he thought to shield his own eyes.

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Kirstie Jayne Norris

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